Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Tweets That Got People Fired (Of The Day)

Stupid and brazen is a bad combination.

Idiot comes to work dressed as a victim of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing. Idiot leaves work carrying her belongings in a box.

Comedienne jokes about Steve Irwin's underage daughter getting laid,
then gets laid off from her job at an Australian newspaper.

The PR agency guy who posted this is driving to job interviews now.

Someone at Cisco saw this post. Bye bye, fatty paycheck.

Racist asshat lost his job as a radio host after these posts.

Fireman becomes fired man when this post went viral.

This woman was a director of corporate communications. Was.

I hope they made him eat those before booting his ass.

High school teacher gets high, told to hit the highway.

He lost his job over $3. Smooth.

Plea Of The Day: Please Steal My Vespa

From McSweeney's.
Please Steal My Vespa

by Lucas Gardner

Dearest Neighbors,

You may have noticed the new Vespa motor scooter that has been parked outside my house. I had asked my wife Connie for a motorcycle for my birthday, but she said they’re too dangerous. On the morning of my birthday she surprised me with a brand new Vespa scooter instead.

If I don’t use the Vespa she takes it personally and gets very upset, so I’ve had to drive it to work everyday. It is humiliating.

I have “accidentally” left the Vespa un-chained, with the key in the ignition, in my front yard every night for the past three weeks and none of you have stolen it. I appreciate your moral decency in that regard, and your neighborliness means a lot to me, but I am giving you the go-ahead to please steal my Vespa.

I really don’t want to hurt Connie’s feelings. I don’t want to return the Vespa or sell it or lie to her in any way, but if one of you were to steal this glorified sidecar out of my yard so that I could tell her honestly that it was stolen, I’d be forever in your debt.


News: U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety

He's gone. And he's never coming back.

From The Onion.


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