Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Shakespeare's Work E-Mails Of The Day

From McSweeney's.
All the world’s a stage,
and all the men and women merely players:
they have their exits and their entrances;
So let’s reconnect on this over the weekend.

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Feel free to reach out if you have further Q’s.

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
We’ve got some great momentum going here;
Will this be done by EOD? By COB?

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than will fit in our engagement strategy.

Hath ye spied that client feedback? It is an email
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind.
It’s an optics thing.

My only love sprung from my only hate!
Too early seen unknown, and known too late!
Prodigious birth of love it is to me
The only K-cups left are blueberry!

News: Naked Guy Falls Through Ceiling Into Women’s Bathroom Before Assaulting Elderly Man

Dumbass. That trick only works in Porky's movies.
Naked Guy Falls Through Ceiling Into Women’s Bathroom Before Assaulting Elderly Man

On Saturday, a 26-year-old Boston man snuck into a woman's bathroom at Logan Airport, took off all his clothes, and climbed up into a crawl space. Unfortunately for him, he was a little too heavy for the hiding spot and came crashing through the ceiling

After tumbling through the ceiling into the woman's bathroom, Cameron Shenk ran out into the airport naked and began assaulting a random elderly man. He reportedly bit the 84-year-old man's ear and attempted to choke him with his own cane.

The man was taken to the hospital to have his ear treated.

Shenk has been charged with "attempted murder, mayhem, assault and battery on a person over 60, assault and battery on a police officer, lewd and lascivious conduct and malicious destruction to property."



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